Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

somebody snuck up and got me drunk

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(207): View more from Maine

using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.

(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?

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(763): View more from Minnesota

Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex

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(252): View more from North Carolina

it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....

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(360): View more from Washington

drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience

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(+62): View more from

This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch

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(303): View more from Colorado

Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?

(512): View more from Texas

Sounds like a legit day to me.

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