if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize