He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I have so many feelings about this burrito
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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