Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
