I feel great
I just peed on a car
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
