hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
