It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize