Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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