my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize