For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
