Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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