Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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