I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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