what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
