im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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