piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
420 ftw
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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