So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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