Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
