yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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