walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
