Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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