I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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