Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize