Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
