The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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