somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Randomize
