ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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