The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
