do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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