yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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