wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Randomize
