Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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