You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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