I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Randomize