i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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