Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
