so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
