well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
