i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Small penises have feelings too.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
