I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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