I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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