Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
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Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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