what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
