Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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