Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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