can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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