Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
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