There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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