I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
i drank out of a bidet.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Randomize
