evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
i now understand why vodka
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
