I'll bet she douches with gravy.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
