So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
