it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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