so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
