OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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