I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
