Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
