What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
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