Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
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